Its been 8 years today and it never gets easier. I need you now more than ever, for so many reasons; mainly because of Jeff being ill. I've been so much stronger than I ever thought possible, but you always had a way to remind me to be stronger yet. Our family and friend support and love has been amazing; especially with mom; she's been just AWESOME. So, for the last few years, I've told myself that you're sending your love and strength while standing right beside all of my grandparents in Heaven.
Every year for Father's Day, your birthday, and for the Christmas holiday, I wear your ashes around my neck inside the gold bullet; I picked that because I couldn't find a train, and it was appropriate because of your love for guns. It symbolizes our time together when you let me help you fill gun shells; that gets me through some tough moments.
I think I have discovered that it doesn't matter how old a woman is, she always needs her daddy. I know I didn't make it easy on you at times; neither one of us did really, but I guess that's what happens when two very strong personalities collide. Though you and mom didn't last forever, one thing you both did for me was teach me how to be strong when I need to be; because despite it all, I received my strength from both of you, and I really like to think that I learned from both of your mistakes, and you expressed to me that your hope for me is that I did learn from your mistakes on my wedding day before you walked me down the isle.
I know that you're finally at peace, and that also helps me through this day. I love and miss you so much more than I could ever express.
November 9, 1943 - December 21, 2011
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